Log in

No account? Create an account
Just another Day
20 most recent entries

Date:2006-04-27 22:38

Face book is a very depressing tool. 5 years after college people from my graduating class are working within their degrees married and having babies. i feel exactly the same as i did 5 years ago when i graduated. i do not feel any more like an adult. i am no more closer to having a real job that i plan on keeping for any more than a few years. im no closer to starting a family. i do have a bit more money but money doesnt really count. i do have a boyfriend who i love very much and plan on being with for the rest of my life, but at this point we are just boyfriend and girlfriend which is fine (im not complaining about this.) im just frustrated that 5 years after high school im in the exact same position that i started in. thats all.

post a comment

Date:2006-04-11 01:24

This is another puppy picture. she is actually about 4lbs now. she was 2lb 6oz when we got her. she is a multipoo. isnt she sooo cute.

4 comments | post a comment

Date:2006-04-11 01:15

post a comment

Date:2006-04-07 02:56
Subject:getting it off my chest

Its 3 am and i cant sleep and probably wont be able too until i get these thoughts out of my brain.

My last year at western wasnt really a great one. it started turning bad in the beginning but my depression really started my last semester. several things caused it. 1) classes frustrated me because i was really excited about them and they turned out to be nothing but stress with no real learning possible major disappointment 2) i kinda fell in love and had to live 4 hours away from him (boyfriend sickness i call it) 3) in my opinion the one thing i cared most about in the world, ems, was starting to fail. and i didnt want it too. i also didnt want it to fail the year that i was in a position to make it better or at least keep it the same. i put all of my heart and soul into ems and even when i shouldnt have i made it my first priority and it hurt to see it going downhill. and it felt like everyone was against me in trying to keep it alive and well

well ive been out of school for just under a year and am no longer depressed and can think with a rational mind now. and the first thing that depressed me still does, since now ive found out you cant get work with my degree. the job i have now doesnt even require a degree. the second is fixed obviously. and the third thats where all my thoughts are now.

i heard through the grapevine that ems did get worse and was not fun to be a part of which makes me sad. but i did recently hear that the new advisor is doing a really good job and is turning it around completely. which is great news, no one wants to see something they care about fail. but my thoughts really surround the people i cared about. my depression really pushed people away. and now that i am not mad or depressed or whatever, i really miss everyone. i took ems too seriously and because of that lost some really good friends. even some that where never in ems.

i miss goofing off with jessica liz toney and carrie. sophmore year on 4th floor thompson was probably my favorite year of college. at least we've just grown apart and we can still talk and get along. thats a restarting point right?

i miss hanging out with b voight. i miss unloading all of my thoughts onto him. sorry i took advantage of that. i know we have no real problems to speak of other than going our seperate ways, but we need to hang out more no excuses.

kerney i miss you the most. my first really friend in college and the only one i cared about keeping for the entire four years. our minor differences (stuberness mostly) led to major problems that last year i was there. but somehow now that im back to myself. 3 1/2 years of great friendship cant be forgotten because of one semester of total crap. i also think i miss you the most b/c its the friendship that may not be repairable. i did the most damage here. i tried calling once after i graduated. the conversation was short and i never heard from you again. so i took the point.

i miss making fun of everyone with cluever.

looking back with a clear head, all the things i said about hating college and never wanting to visit western again are not entirely true. they were said by someone who was depressed and needed support. i really can say that i mostly had a great time and wish i didnt fuck it up so bad in the end. excuse my french.

i guess thats what im thinking 3am friday morning when im supposed to work at 9am. maybe now that i blabbed my thoughts i can sleep. thanks for reading the few of you that actually still use livejournal.

4 comments | post a comment

Date:2006-01-14 00:06
Subject:the latest

Well for those of you who are interested in the latest news about me here it goes. it may be confusing, but thats becaused im all confused. first the problem: i want to work at the zoo. i love the zoo, and now that im not there i miss the zoo. at the zoo you have to be a seasonal keeper for several years. they get paid for crap and no insurance and are only allowed about 1500 or so hours a year. i cant afford that yet. i have lots of medical problems and need insurance. i still live 2 hours away from the zoo and on that salary cant get an apartment closer. so i had to quit the zoo. even though i was offered a seasonal position in tropic world which is like my dream. so for now i am currently working in a a cytology lab at munster community hospital. apparently thats about all i can do with a bio degree. cyto lab or zoo. no one else would even consider me. at least they wouldnt interview me i guess i dont know if they considered me or not. so i went from dream job to, working in my most hated subject in school cell biology. so now im applying for nursing school. the idea is that i can make so much nursing that hopefully i will eventually be able to be a part time nurse while im working as a seasonal zookeeper. then i can make enough money to live near the zoo and support myself while im working up to becoming a full time keeper. but who knows and it will probably change 100 times more.

i also am starting to work on a volunteer project. by working on i mean saving up. i hope 2 summers from now to be spending two months volunteering at C.A.R.E. in africa. raising an orphaned baboon. that is the only goal im sure about. and i hope that happens.

thats it from now. you all know exactly what i know now. which is next to nothing. simply dont get a bio degree unless you want to work in wildlife for sure!!!

post a comment

Date:2006-01-07 23:55

I stole this from Liz because its awesome.

Illini girls are pretty
Northwestern girls are smart
But it takes a WESTERN girl
To win a fellas heart
Eastern girls are dirty
Northern girls are hoes
But when you want a hot girl
Macomb is where to go
Any man who reads this
Truly has to know
That if you have a WESTERN girl
Dont ever let her go

post a comment

Date:2005-10-12 18:24

Body: Go to the following link and type in your name in the box provided and click the sloganize button. Then repost this bulletin with your name and slogan. No cheating!... Do it only once!

Nicole-get the door its nicole.
Erik - Better ingredients better Erik
Jason- A day without Jason is like a day without sunshine.
Bonnie- lol - Thank Bonnie It's Friday!
Kimber-this is so my slogan it's not even funny- My goodness!My Kimber! the other one is Kimber born and bred haha
matt-grab life by the matt
Tiffany - what ever you into...get into Tiffany BAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Cheryl- How do you eat your Cheryl? LMAO
Schwinghammer- Stir your coffee with a Schwinghammer.
Sara-- The Best Sara A Man Can Get.... yeah and dont u forget it!!!
Brian~ Brian Just Feels Right.- yea yea what a quincidence
Kaitlyn~Whenever There's a Snack Gap, Kaitlyn Fits.
chAD - Doing it right before your Chad. (damn straight...)
Stella-Just do Stella
J-Ko: Double the Pleasure, Double the J-Ko
Denise~Hand-built by Denise (that's just stupid)
Anna~ HO HO HO Green Anna!... WTF whys everyone making ho jokes... a single girls gotta do what a single girls gotta do...
Brandon - Momma's got the magic of Brandon... or My personal fav.. "Unzip a B"

post a comment

Date:2005-09-26 22:38

In a matter of a month or so I went from Zookeeper to Cytology prep technologist. Wow those jobs are related...not. So yes that means i got hired at the hospital. not the best job, but a job. it will be easier to transfer to another job in the hospital than it is to apply from scratch. I will be making money which is more than i can say now. they are also willing to change my hours for the 5 weeks i wanted to take the cna course. thats awesome. ill normally be working 10-6:30. not bad, can pretty much sleep in in the morning and still have time to have a life at night. and its mostly a monday-friday job with the rare saturday overtime. so ill pretty much have weekends. those of you who i had to give up friendships with simply because i couldnt afford to do anything, that will soon change if you will have me back. i guess ill explain exactly what a cyto prep tech does after i find out....i know im preparing slides for the cytotechnologist and pathologist to analyze and thats the bulk of my job. i guess i can deal with that for now. yay for me. and the best part i only have to drive like 5-10 min to get there. instead of a 2 hour drive to the zoo.

2 comments | post a comment

Date:2005-09-21 14:03
Subject:one door closes another opens

Well i did not get into the psych class the teacher said she wouldnt let anymore students in the class. The teacher for monday/wednsday gave me permission to take her class, but i cant fit that in with the CNA class. And the CNA class is mandatory, this pysch class is not, its just helpful. So i can still apply and get into the nursing program but i will be applying with less points so it will be riskier. if 95 people have higher points then me i will not get in. on the positive side of life, i got an interview at community hospital. i am interviewing to be a Cyto prep tech. Dont ask me what i would be doing yet, b/c there was no job description so i just applied for everything i though i may be qualified for and hoped that i was qualified for at least one, and i guess it worked. so i hope i get offered a job. if i get a job in the hospital it may be easier to get a better job in the hospital. well thats it for now i guess, whoever cares cross your fingers for me.

post a comment

Date:2005-09-10 13:06

Well i am no longer a zookeeper. They actually offered me a seasonal postion, not temporary like what i first had. But i had to turn it down b/c my entire pay check would be going toward gas and tolls. So i would need another job just to pay bills and that cant happen. I have also decided that although i loved working at the zoo, it is not where my future is. It is awesome to feed the animals and to interact with them. But in 10 years when it is not so new and exciting will it actually be exciting to me. I think my heart has been in the medical field and always will be. So everyone try not to faint, im going to go back to school for a nursing degree. But i will only be going to community college. They want nurses bad so as long as you pass your boards there is work for you. Unlike right now. A biology degree doesnt get you work, unless you want to work at the zoo or like in wildlife stuff. Now i thought id have a better time getting a job at a hospital with a biology degree and an emt license. Not true. Turns out you have to have stuff like AAMA/RMA/AMT certification, or mlt/mt certification, or you have to be a medical assistant or a cna. Now some of those certs. are just to work in a lab. Somehow i thought that having a bio major and a forensic chem minor might be enough to get you work in a lab. Turns out getting a degree doesnt help you, but going to a technical school to get those certs, gets you work. Damn i should have listened to those commercials. So right now im out of work, i dont qualify for any jobs that dont only require you to have graduated from high school, and the stress level is starting to rise again. I looked through 74 pages of jobs in all advocate healthcare facilities. I qualified for 2 jobs. Neither of them cared about my bio degree, i only qualified b/c im an emt. I applied to be a cardiology assistant. the only stipulation is i have to have an arrythmia class within a year of being hired which i can handle. And the other job is in the south side of chicago, my dad wouldnt let me apply.
at other hospitals i have applied to be a transportation aide (wheel patients from one room to the next) a
radiology support assosiate, basically a transporation aide for the radiology dept. and a phlebotomist. cross your fingers for me. i need work.
in a month if i havent gotten anything i will either be a waitress or back on an ambulance. thats how desperate i am (nothing against waitresses, its just not what i want)

1 comment | post a comment

Date:2005-08-30 16:04

How you really say "I love you." by lenatheraven
...believe in true love?
Your hands sayWe fit together.
Your eyes sayI can't dream anyone more beautiful.
Your hugs sayNothing I desire compares with you.
Your kisses sayI almost can't believe you love me.
Your body saysI just want to hold you.
Your heart saysI love you.
Quiz created with MemeGen!

post a comment

Date:2005-07-18 15:48

Well good news everyone who cares...

My internship was ended several weeks early. But thats good. It ended because im temporarily hired as a seasonal keeper. Its only temporary b/c they had to create this position since a keeper was put on light duty do to injury. So I only have the job until she is better. Could be several weeks, could be couple of months dont know. but its a step ahead. when i start applying for a real seasonal position rather then a temp one, i will now have zookeeper work on my resume. which is awesome.it puts me ahead of other people with only internships. and even if it only lasts two weeks, that is two weeks i would have been working for free that ill now be getting paid for. so there is nothing negative about this. im so excited. especially that i was picked to get the job. yay. well thats it for now.
im out...
temporary zookeeper yay!!!!

4 comments | post a comment

Date:2005-06-24 21:56
Subject:Things are looking up

Well I have been home for a month or so now and things are going pretty well. There are still problems to face but so far im having a great summer (and the problems are things i am most willing to deal with). Well let me just say that I have an internship at brookfield zoo at tropic world as a zookeeper. The first 4 weeks i was handfeeding orangutans, gibbens, and asian small clawed otters. it was absolutely amazing. and no matter how hard the day was and how tired i was, i still leave feeling good about what im doing. i just switched over to a new section of tropic world, I am currently working with the gorillas, redcap mangabes(spelling may be off), sooty mangabes, mandrils, colobus monkeys and sykes monkeys. The gorillas are awesome. I can not describe what its like to be face to face with them and giving them juice right out of a cup. I get to see training sessions and medical treatments and everything that a keeper would normally be involved in. Right up to a fake animal escape drill. In 4 more weeks i will be heading to the south america portion of tropic world. There are calamicos, golden lion tamerans, cotton top tamerons, tapir, anteater, capuchins, spider monkes and a sloth there. I cant wait.
The possible stress comes when my internship is over. YOu have to start working as a seasonal keeper before you can be hired as a full time keeper. Which means that i will have to have 2 months off every year, and pay is only about 8 or 9 an hour.this can go on for up to 5 years before you get hired. im willing to make the sacrifice but there will be a struggle to pay bills and keep insurance (since im so uninsurable and all.) but i have my family and Rick to support me (hopefully not monitarilly). Rick has been my rock through all of this. i love him so much. I dont know if i would have even made it to this point without him. I love him so much, i am so lucky.

Well ill leave it at that for now.

2 comments | post a comment

Date:2005-05-04 00:52
Subject:my thoughts

School is finally coming to a close. The one thing I want most in the world is to be home. I hate school. There is nothing about it I enjoy. I dont enjoy the activities Im in anymore. (I guess i lied I really did enjoy Costa Rica) I hate the frat across the street partying while im trying to sleep/study/watch tv. The people are getting on my nerves. My degree seems to only be a 40000 dollar piece of paper. Less than half of college graduates get a job that goes with their degree. So maybe if im lucky, my piece of paper will be at least worth a job. The only thing im really leaving college with is the love of my life and finally knowing myself (all discovered outside of class). Some people say its my fault for choosing my major. Well thats not true, I really love biology. Its the classes that sucked, the teachers who are more focused on tests and teaching everything possible they dont care that they are overloading us. So rather than sitting back and learning and enjoying what im learning, I got to be stressed out and not really learning anything. I learned how to memorize a whole lot of notecards and then forget so i can start memorizing for another class. So in two weeks i will finally leave my personal hell. I will be entering a very scary situation, but i will definately be alot happier. I will start an internship at Tropic World in Brookfield Zoo on May 23rd. This is awesome and im so freaking excited. This leads to my scary problems though. A job doesnt seem possible at this point. So i have 50 dollars a week in gas bills to get there and back, a 10 dollar a month credit card bill, and a 47 dollar a month phone bill. Dont exactly know how im going to pay for all that. Also i get dropped from my parents medical insurance when i graduate. Those of you that know me will realize how screwed I am without medical insurance. Private insurance can cost me up to 600 dollars a month with my preexisting medical....wonder where that money is coming from. Everyone keeps telling me that there is no sense in worrying about it now...but it all starts in 2 weeks. I dont know when i should start worrying. I got offered a job teaching aerobics for 20 dollars an hour. That would be awesome and would solve most of my immediate problems. The problem is, the zoo wont give me a schedule. If i get the 6:30am -3:30 pm shift that would work out wonderfully. If i dont then I cant accept the job. So there you have it, a summary of whats on my mind. No matter what getting the hell out of here is the best thing that can happen to me. So in a little less than 2 weeks everything will be so much better.

2 comments | post a comment

Date:2005-03-31 21:12

I guess I should update since I havent in forever. I just got back from Costa Rica. It was awesome. We saw howler monkeys, white faced capuchin monkeys, crocodiles, lots of birds, ctinosaurs( bad spelling, they are lizards that look iguanas). We went to a volcano that was errupting while we were there( not enough that it was dangerous obviously). We saw a rain forest, a cloud forest and a dry forests. Lots o bugs. I took about 200 pictures so just ask and I will share with you. Lots of hiking about 7 hours a day, except on travel days. The only two negatives were the people that complained all the time about everything. I dont think that 5 full minutes went by that they werent complaing or making fun of someone. The other negative was that we were only told to bring a certain amount of money...not a mandatory limit but a suggested amount. Well it wasnt enough and I ran out of money quickly. But all in all there was more good than bad. And although i did get homesick for the first time in my life (i missed rick alot) I would still do it again. Next time i would take rick with me though.

post a comment

Date:2005-02-22 15:22
Subject:love number quiz

Your Love Number is


Who you fall in love with is all about who you trust.
Loyalty is important to you, and you want the most faithful of lovers.
In return, you never let your heart or eyes wander.
Open and honest, your relationships tend to be free of secrets.

post a comment

Date:2005-02-04 21:57

1.) Nicole
2.) Nikki
3.) Nic

1.) traumaddict38
2.) angeliz132
3.) dmb1214

1.) i trust until i have a reason not to
2.) i think i am intelligent
3.) my ability to laugh

1.) my butt
2.) my bad habits (i.e. biting my nails)
3.) i always over work myself

1.) losing rick
2.) my career future (what the hell will it be)
3.) drowning

1.) make up
2.) a way to talk to rick
3.) food

1.) jeans
2.) t-shirt
3.) frog slippers

1.) Dashboard Confessionals
2.) Jewel
3.) Dave Matthews Band

1.) trust
2.) respect
3.) the ability to laugh with each other

1.) i have an obsession with books
2.) I met jeff corwin
3.) I I ran up 8 flights of stairs yesterday

1.) back
2.) shoulders/arms
3.) smile

1.) smokers
2.) being called the wrong name(its never happened but that would be horrid)
3.) republicans

1.) see rick
2.) eat some ice cream
3.) have a friend over

1.) zookeeper
2.) Nurse
3.) Forensic Biology

1.) Italy
2.) Alaska
3.) Caribbean Cruise

1 comment | post a comment

Date:2005-02-02 23:38

You scored as Romantic Comedy. What the fuck? You scored Romantic Comedy. You love sappy shit. You're oblivious to what's happening as long as you have some guy for eye candy and a happy ending you wish you could happen in your own life. Time to rent some new movies.


Romantic Comedy


Sadistic Humour










Mindless Action Flick


Movie Recommendation.
created with QuizFarm.com

1 comment | post a comment

Date:2004-12-15 14:14
Subject:sad and happy news

Well the happy news first I am going to Costa Rica for spring break. Not like your typical drunken college spring break, but a Tropical Ecology Class field trip. Well not LIKE a, cause it is a tropical ecology class field trip. Its considered a short term study abroad. We will be staying at field stations in a rain forest, a dry forest, and a cloud forest. Its going to be a once in a lifetime opportunity and im soooooooo excited to get to be in the class.

The sad news, I gave my mice up for adoption. The smell is getting too strong, and they are chewing everything so they are sooo loud. Before i hear a bunch of i told you so's, thats not the only reason. I think it will be easier to find a hamster sitter over spring break than a mice sitter, and traveling with them is just hard. So all reasons together, i decided to give them to the pet store to sell to someone else.

So thats it for now...oh and I'm now 22

post a comment

Date:2004-12-12 00:09
Subject:im bored so heres a survey

If I were a month I would be: May, I love the spring, and all the blossoming life

If I were a day of the week I would be: Friday

If I were a time of day I would be: 9pm, the work day is basically over and the night can begin

If I were a planet I would be: Earth, i know its cheesy but i really love what this planet has to offer

If I were a sea animal I would be: Angler Fish, not only is it my favorite fish, but they are so rare that when they meet with the opposite sex the male which is extremely smaller than the female attaches to her permenantly, after they mate she absorbs him and he gives his life for their young

If I were a direction I would be: west, so i could always watch the sunset

If I were a piece of furniture: a bed, its my favorite place to be, haha you perverts i mean because im lazy and like to sleep

If I were a historical figure I would be: Queen Elizabeth I, wouldnt it be awesome to rule a country and be that gorgeous, athough i do not like the whole celibate all my life thing

If I were a liquid I would be: rain, im stealing your answer Mora b/c i agree completely

If I were a stone, I would be: diamond, simple and elegant

If I were a tree, I would be: a fig tree

If I were a bird, I would be: penguin

If I were a tool, I would be: uhhh

If I were a flower/plant I would be: rose, traditional beauty

If I were a kind of weather: 80 degrees with the most perfect spring breeze

If I were a mythical creature: Elf

If I were a musical instrument: piano

If I were an animal, I would be: tiger

If I were a color, I would be: yellow

If I were an emotion, I would be: love

If I were a vegetable, I would be: corn

If I were a sound, I would be: laughter (okay mora thats number 2)

If I were an element, I would be: wind

If I were a car, I would be: ummmm

If I were a song, I would be: way to hard for me to decide

If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Speilburg (i dont know how to spell that)

If I were a book, I would be written by: J.R.R Tolkien

If I were a food, I would be: potatoes

If I were a place, I would be: New Zealand

If I were a material, I would be: cotton, warm and comfortable

If I were a taste, I would be: sweet

If I were a flavor, I would be: strawberry

If I were a scent, I would be: fresh flowers

If I were a word, I would be: ?

If I were a body part I would be: lips

If I were a facial expression I would be: smile

If I were a subject in school I would be: biology

post a comment

my journal